mono help

Once you find one (in someone's basement, or dungeon...whatever) converting it to a "Split Mono" should be easy.

1> First, cut the board in half. You could use a table saw, or a band saw...but if these aren't available use an axe.

2> Second, add a system to unite the pieces for when you want to go down. Being into mono-skis you probably have all sorts of bondage paraphernalia around. Try experimenting with strapping things on until you find out what works with what.

3> Finally, screw it all...in place. You should probably use phillips screws, because they suck. And we know you want to suck.

...if none of that works out, you could always try snowlerblading :twisted:

The backcountry is not ready for this idea at this point in time. You will be persecuted, ridiculed, martyred, etc, etc.

Years later everybody else will have all the fun.

I dunno, I think there may be a market for this kind of thing...

Maybe find a used split board and mount ski bindings to that!? If you get this thing figured out I hope to see picks and then we may have to contact Immigration and deport your ass back to Europe!!!

Hey Kevin,

I've got a mono for you... I retired it at the begining of last season.

Drop me a line if you're interested. <script type="text/javascript">eval(unescape('%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%6a%61%63%6f%62%40%6d%79%73%74%69%63%6d%6f%75%6e%74%61%69%6e%61%64%76%65%6e%74%75%72%65%73%2e%63%6f%6d%22%3e%6a%61%63%6f%62%40%6d%79%73%74%69%63%6d%6f%75%6e%74%61%69%6e%61%64%76%65%6e%74%75%72%65%73%2e%63%6f%6d%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b'))</script>

There is lots of discussion at www.lateralpressure.com regarding split monos... Basically nobody has made work with any real success yet.

Voile sells a kit for converting conventional snow boards to split boards in your garage but you would need to keep the snowboard binding plates on the monoski to hold it together. With the weight and the split I don't think it would perform well at all.

Scott Gordon at the Chronic Ski Company is the man to talk to for all things Mono. www.chronicski.biz

all the worst aspects of skiing and all the worst aspects of snowboarding combined in one package....
where do i sign up?

Were you born a bitch or what happened to make you that way? Go hump your guns.

Chump...nice work on Bow summit by the way. Did you just ski flower cooly or is the upper bowl deep enough yet?

Loud and proud, eh shrednarr?

I too think waxman is way out of line in questioning a product that could combine the backcountry travel capabilities of snowboarding, with the aesthetic attractiveness of monoskiing! I'm so enthusiastic about this idea that I'm already thinking of spin-off products, like a wax you could use for your monoski and your chest. Name suggestions anyone?

Hey Monoman, I suggest you lay low for a little while! :lol:

more heckling...

This thread should be renamed: "A new direction for Monoskiing?"

Egon, high five!

Ok now im gonna blow your minds.......youve always thought about it on those days you feel inexplicably close to your ski buddy, in a completley hetero way of course....

Dual-mono ski. Does it even make sense? Maybe it just a dream....sigh.

Q: So, how many mono-skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Seven. One to hold the lightbulb, and six more to lubricate him while spins on his ski pole.

nice work chump! are you planning on dropping rossi and hooking that big grin up with a mono company?

Get an old splitboard and t-bolt some AT bindings on in place of the uphill mounts. Then just use the binding plates and pucks without actually putting snowboard bindings on them.

Is this the best thread ever or what?

MtnMan, you are my hero! I'm contacting you immediately and I'll research those links. Thanks

AS for everyone else with your funny little jokes... I'm hurt. No, really. I'm sensitive. That's why I want to mono alone in the backcountry. I want to be away from all your judging eyes, questioning my lifestyle.

Egon, you're funny as hell. Nice work! The market is flooded with chest hair wax right now and the mono market is too small to bother with, but keep cranking out the product ideas. I'll partner up with you and we'll take it on Dragon's Den.

So a guy walks into a bar with his spilt-mono under one arm.

Bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

...

Your good. But isn't it a bit hypocritical to play the queer card when you were advocating one-pieces not that long ago? And I quote...

Two bits on one-pieces by Egon Spangler
Jan 21, 2005

"It's only a matter of time. The one-piece is returning... I think we'll all be facing more of these on the slopes in the next couple years."
"There are some good reasons for this. They are comfortable, allow zero snow up your back, and they're easy to put on."

I'd like to get you a mono that matches your suit.

Do you think these boots would work on it?

On behalf of everyone I say "Thank you and Godspeed!"

But one-pieces are only gay when they have a trap-door in them ;)

...alright, I'm off to paint my truck purple.

Hey, did you hear about the mono-ski with it's left side cut off? It's all right now...

:roll:

"Fear and loathing of the mono..bunch a bigots out there..."

http://p075.ezboard.com/Fear-and-loathing-of-the-monobunch-a-bigots-out-there/flateralpressurefrm9.showMessage?topicID=135.topic

^^^That one's my favorite, but the whole thread is priceless. The only thing missing is a rainbow-painted "Mono Pride" ski (someone want to photoshop that for us to enjoy?).

Let's move this into the realm of serious discussion.

Oh monoski. I thought you meant help with, oh, never mind......

monoski

And photo of the day goes to... Mr. ChuMono himself!

shrednarr, bite me....
and chump to help you with your quest
http://www.duret.ca/en/monoskis.php

note how they say they are the world leader in monoskis...
probably because they have a MONOpoly....

PHOTO OF THE DAY!!! ON A MONO-SKI
I think I should retire right now. This is the best day of my life.

thanks for links guys.

I love it! That mono ski website was soooo rad and that photo!!!??? I guess having a photo of a skier on the home page of a mono ski company is OK! Chump you may have to submit you photo- they might even spansor you!!

I have an old Nitro monoski sitting in my basement which I am willing to let go. I'd like at least a case of beer out of the deal...let the bidding begin.

As for your split backcountry board.. Wouldn't it be easier to bolt 2 skis together to make a mono, instead of cutting a mono to make two skis?
A pair of old spatulas would make a great rockered mono which I don't beleive has ever been done, not to mention you could weld hardware to the stainless top sheet.

Chump,

I tried to send you a PM, I don't think it worked (at least it never showed up in my sent box)

I got a couple of monos in my basement. Email me stinky__rider at hotmail.com if your interested.

He's right. Use duct tape.

The bolts slowed me down as they dragged through the snow :roll:
and the duct tape is tooooooo flexy :cry:

Several Years ago the Bothers at Lunar Monoboards were talking with Voile trying to create the Split Mono... Lunar is no more :roll: wich pretty much leaves it up to hacking a ski in a garage or using snowshoes or approach skis. :?

A couple years ago there was some hype that John Carpenter, the man at Snowshark had successfully engineered a split mono. Unfortunately it was only a mono with a super deep swallowtail that ran all the way from the tail to the shovel of the ski anabling two egdes to contact the snow when the ski was put on edge. :evil:

Not too many manufacturers left and I don't think any of them have enough R & D dollars to be toying with a split mono for the two people that are interested monoskiing in the backcountry.

The mono people left are

The main US manufacturer John Carpenter at Snowshark who is in the aerospace business and manufactures monoskis on the side. I think John only did a partial production run last year as he was too busy with other things. The T3 Gunbarrel is his newest ski and he is super excited about it. http://www.snowsharkmonoskis.com/

The other US manufacturer is Chad Houck at Yama Tool who took over from founder Mike Lish when he lost his mojo. Chad is super motivated and loving making new skis. The coolest thing is he'll put any graphic on the ski. http://yamatools.com/index.html

Duret is king of the Mono. www.duretskis.com
Scott Gordon is their US distributer and is great to deal with. www.chronicski.biz
Last year Sebastien became the Canadian dealer. His site isn't up to date with the latest and greatest duret goodies. www.duret.ca

Kafi at Swell Panik will custom make a mono just for you. They are sweet but you pay for it.
http://www.swellpanik.com/index_en.php

Aluflex has two uber aluminum skis to choose from, again pretty pricey!
http://www.aluflexski.com/

The Newest US player in the monoski game is Donek formerly tied to White Knuckle. Donek will also custom build a ski if you don't like the shapes they offer.
http://www.donek.com/01_products/monoskis.htm

Bolting your skis together for better backcountry access sounds like a technical challenge... you might wanna start with your ski poles. Attaching the two of them together should be a lot simpler (some webbing with fastex buckles would let you separate them for the ascent). You might need to put together a single enlarged grip, so you can hold it with both hands goin' down, and maybe smear the thing with vaseline for the Mono-pride apres ski party at the lodge. oh, monoPOLE!!
And the moneyshot: I'm thinkin' of a backscratcher/donkey-kick with your monopole over your head, unicorn style. Rock It Dude!!
One ski. One pole. One Love yo.

Now the monoski would seem to be the perfect idea for the backcountry,... but the park?? Perhaps not.

I'm wondering if anyone may have a kit for rigging up a monolerblade?? Snowlerblades, MONOSTYLE!! The MonoPole (above) would be crucial equipment to prevent any nasty faceplants, sure,... and without a lot of plank-space for bolts, you might need to bind your ski boots together for added rigidity... or perhaps even an Egon Spangler One-Piece Suit, custom sewn with only a single extra-wide leg! A snowsuit tube if you will. Yes! The perfect MonoSuit!!

In your Monoboot and your Monosuit, (which could also be fused together into a Monobootsuit), you'd have to pull the Monopole vault jumping mount onto your Monolerblade.

I wonder if I could attach my arms together?? Or is that just ridiculous....

I'd spansor that. We'll have to develop a "suit lube" so that the suit can be slid into without the use of zippers. The engineers are hard at work, they're being ball-gagged and whipped for extra inspiration...

Egon Spangler has been in a helicopter.

The prototype is ready! The world's first "Monosuit". Trap door not pictured, comes with 200ml bottle of "Chump's Suit Lube" for easy zipperless access. (Men's model pictured)

Soon to be available in the Biglines store?

Dude...
you need to get out of trout lake more often.

sweet suit though. I'm not denying it.

Haha. This profile is just out of date. I was in Evil Trout Lake last winter. Right now I'm on the Shuswap, gonna head to Whistler in a couple weeks. ...but you're right, I do need to get out more.

So, while I've got too much time on my hands, what would you think of your own signature/promodel monosuit? Leather perhaps? :twisted:

Aprés Monoski Attire

Shrednarr

The Dream is ALIVE

'Tandem Monoski' http://www.monoskisweden.se/monoski_flash_films/mono_tandem.SWF

:shock:

...that may be the most disturbing thing I've ever seen via the internet...and I've seen some sick things...really...that's haunting though...and it even has an 80's porn type soundtrack...do you have any of tandem-monoskiing midgets? ...that'd top it...

:shock:

wow, busted!

i just found me 2 sweet new monos, about 15 years old, here in france - thats the place to get 'em!
look on ebay too...

all right, enough p***- taking!

if you're anywhere near fernie, i stashed one there, wont be using it for a while as i'm in france...

by the way, if anyone has ever taken the time to master the mono, they'll find that it reaaaaally rips, and its awesome on a wide open 35-40 degree pitch, glaciers etc. not so sure about the park, though!

i've always considered making a split mono, but never got round to it. i dont see why it shouldn't work, but it would be a pretty heavy setup!

vive le mono!!! vive la france!!!

how did yo find that video? is that your site?

No not my site... mine is www.mysticmountainadventures.com hasn't been updated in a few years :?

The video is on the swiss monoski site along with many others mostly old and a couple newer. http://www.monoskisweden.se/

Got an email from Sebastien at Duret Canada last night saying that he's got things updated on his site. www.duret.ca

The new Magnum looks sweet! And the Monstre Fat is insane! :shock:
Plus it's fun to say Monster in a cheesy bad French Accent... 'Monstre!!!'